How the fuck do I install Mods?

Download whatever mod you want, make sure you read the instructions. Especially If It's a core mod, because you can only have one.
Most of them come in .packages files so you will need to go into computer then program files, find 'Electronic Arts' inside will be The Sims 3 and If you have expansion packs it will also list them but don't worry about them. Go into The Sims 3 there should be a lot of folders you need to find the one called "mods" when you find that there will be even more folders find the one that says packages and copy and paste the mod in there.

Also, I'm pretty sure you don't need helper monkey because Windows 7 comes with the framework already. I don't use it to install mods and they work fine on windows 7.